Three months. Three months until i receive my graduation certificate. i am super stoked, I've probably waited for this day since my sister and brother were approaching this situation. the dead isolation of this receding town basically churns my stomach into what seems a nightmare. Despite my dire need to leave, i am conflicted by the grinding halt which is resulted from my undiscovered calling.
Surrounding pressures from friends and family are seldom appreciated. Just the other day my father and i were conversing. Basically he said to that discover what you love in life, hone it down to whats you are good at, and above all else, don't force your self into a life style in which i am not happy with. I appreciate the advice, however i am sill plagued by this standstill.
I am not completely oblivious to my situation. The fact that I have not yet accepted a "lifestyle" in which i am compelled to pursue is difficult. I don't want to go to post-secondary to "find myself". I do not wish to become a middle aged man slow sinking in to chronic depression as I slowly bald in an office cubicle flipping through files.
My life is changing, for once i have a input which matters. The fact inwhich I still have many more years to mature is comforting. The end of highschool does not frighten me, this is a change in which all adolecents must conquer. Basically I am on the verge of having to run my own show. No one is going to wake me up in the morning or make my lunches. This is no time to pretend, this sh*t is fo sho!
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